This portion, I ever so briefly touched on in the previous section, but my emotional and mental states were not at an all time high as a result of a myriad of factors including those I have discussed previously but I would be remiss if I did not mention the onset of the pandemic as one of the many compounding elements that coalesced upon me during this time. The pandemic, particularly the very beginning, was rife with uncertainty and fear which it just so happens I was already feeling at the moment due to the context of my own life. 

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Just as the rest of the "falling down" section, this letter is able to illustrate quite succinctly a certain time and place and allows for critically important reflection. For instance, in rereading this letter it is now almost comical to think that the locking down of campus went from being 2 weeks to 2 years. While this was the case for the entire student body, I was already in such a fragile state I wasn't entirely sure how to react and thus I went home March 6th, 2020 and did not return in person until September 20th, 2021. At the time I was incredibly fearful, but in retrospect my feelings appear to be far more complex than I originally thought.

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Prior to this letter and the pandemic in general, I was struggling immensely due in part by the rigor of school being more that I anticipated, my health challenges, as well as my anxiety precluding me from making any lasting friendships. With the 20/20 vision of hindsight I am now able to see that my mental wellbeing was so poor at the time I was relieved in a way to be able to back to the sanctuary of my home with no repercussions even though I was feeling the wrath of a worldwide pandemic.